My very first job ever while in high school was at a local grocery store. My various jobs there included bagging groceries, working bottle redemption, collecting carts and whatever other disgusting, lame thing they could think up (except cleaning the restrooms...I told them that was NOT in my job description do I got out of it). Here's a few things that happened:
* A fellow employee (a gross old lady with a horrific dyed jet-black afro) was actually caught turning tricks in the parking lot when she was supposed to be collecting grocery carts. She was a prostitute!!
* I saw a customer urinate in the public water fountain! (Ewwww)
* A guy tried to return a bunch of beer bottles that had been sitting around his apartment for a loooong time. I reached in teh bad and took out a Corona bottle that had a mouse in it. It apparently crawled in, couldn't get out & died. (again...ewwww)
* From time to time, people will open a bag of chips and snack on it while shopping and pay for it after. One customer thought it was perfectly ok to do this with a bottle of Jack Daniels. Store security did NOT feel the same way.
* I once caught 2 kids stuffing packages of meat down their pants, as well as shampoo (?!?)
* I bagged the groceries of a very large woman who apparently was having a major snack attack and could not wait to at least get out to the car. She grabbed a container of yogurt from her bag (hey, at least it was a healthy snack), took the cover off and proceeded to stick her index & middle fingers in and use them like a spoon. (double ewwwww)
* I saw parent who were not paying attention to their kid who was standing on his blanket in the carriage. Father goes to grab the blanket and kid tumbles right outta grocery cart onto floor and cracks head open...blood everywhere. Father then yells at kid for falling. When I suggested he let us call 911, he said it was just a scratch. (kid needed stitches fo' sho')
I also worked in a City Clerk's Office, where part of my job was assisting the elderly in nursing homes complete absentee voting. Here's a few gems from those days:
* After reading a ballot question to an elderly woman, she hesitated for the longest time, then looked at me, smiled and said..."I'm naked under my kimona". (she was wearing a housecoat) Not really knowing what to say, but seeing the long line of residents that still needed to vote, I said the first thing that came to mind.. "That's ok, you can still vote".
* Another resident told me she decided not to vote that day because she wanted to go with her father on election day. Now, this woman was in her 90's and her father had looong since been deceased and, I'm pretty sure wasn't gonna show up to vote.
* And I always love the people that tell me, "well, whatever you think dear, you can vote whatever you want on that one." (Uh..sorry...that's not how it works. I can't do that, ma'am.)
And I also worked at a Pharmacy that had a lot of regular customers come in.
* My brothers friends would always come in & try to buy chewing tobacco forgetting that I worked there and knew they weren't old enough. Then they'd get to the counter, see me, then turn around and put it back on the shelf.
* I loved the little kids that would come in, lay a bunch of change on teh counter and ask me "what can I get for this many?". I'd always kick in some of my own money without them realizing so they thought they could afford something awesome!
* There was this husky, manly-man with greasy hands that used to come in about once a month and buy a ton of maxipads -- the "super heavy" kind. I always wondered why. I wanted to ask him so badly.
* I used to answer the phone and say the wrong business name all the time because I had 2 p/t jobs and would go from one to the other sometimes. I would answer and say "
I also worked at a travel company that dealt specifically with European travel (got tons of free trips to Europe...woot!!)
* I once had to call a travel agent to get a new credit card # for a client whose card had declined. His last name was spelled "Penises". Umm, how would YOU pronounce that? So, everytime I called, I pronounced it a different way...any way except "THAT" way. And the travel agent never corrected me.
* I was once in Italy on business and 2 guys from one of our European affiliates were driving me around. When I commented as we passed by a wall of Julius Caesar statues, I said "Look at all those Caesars". They both freaked out and turned to look. Apparently the word Caesar means "breast" in Italian...who knew? (Note: when referring to Caesar as in Julius, its pronounced more like "Chesare")
